Doctor’s consultation room. NESS, the doctor, seating behind her desk. JACOB, her patient, comes in.
NESS: Take a seat, Jacob. That one there. Is that all right?
JACOB: Absolutely.
NESS: So. Any news?
JACOB: There is. And I should have told you sooner. I’m sorry about that.
NESS: Oh, gracious me, there’s no need to be sorry. So what is it? Please, in your own words. And I’ll make notes if I may. Is that all right?
JACOB: Absolutely.
NESS: Right, well I’ll just get my pen ready. I shan’t be a moment. Is that all right?
JACOB: Absolutely.
NESS: Right, I’m ready. Off you go.
JACOB: So… well…. There’s been a development. If I can put it that way.
NESS: Absolutely. What kind of a development?
JACOB: Not a very good one, I’m afraid. I’m sorry about that.
NESS: Oh, you don’t need to be sorry, gracious me, no. A development, you say?
JACOB: Yes.
NESS: What kind of a development?
JACOB: Not a good one, I’m afraid. It’s er…. Well, how shall I put it? Er…. Do you mind if I take my coat off? Is that all right?
NESS: Absolutely. It is hot in here. Put it on the peg there. Is that all right?
JACOB: Absolutely. (Takes coat off) So, as I was saying, there’s been a development.
NESS: Yes, you said. A development, eh?
JACOB: Absolutely.
NESS: So what was it?
JACOB: Well…. I don’t know how to put it.
NESS: Why not start at the beginning. Is that all right?
JACOB: Absolutely. Well…. It’s like this. Do you remember when we talked last time?
NESS: I do. Absolutely.
JACOB: And do you remember what I told you last time?
NESS: No. Just remind me, would you? Is that all right?
JACOB: Absolutely. So, where was I?
NESS: Last time. You were telling me about last time.
JACOB: Right. So. Well. Yes, last time. Yes. Absolutely. So, remember I said that I had forgotten to take the pink ones?
NESS: Oh, no. Don’t remember that.
JACOB: You don’t remember?
NESS: No. I’m sorry about that. Is that all right?
JACOB: Absolutely. Anyway….
NESS: You forgot to take the pink ones?
JACOB: Yes. I’m sorry about that.
NESS: Goodness me, there’s no need to be sorry. So you forgot to take the blue ones?
JACOB: No. The pink ones.
NESS: The pink ones? Oh, yes. Did I say the blue ones. I’m sorry about it.
JACOB: Oh, there’s no need to be sorry. Absolutely.
NESS: Thank you, Jacob. May I call you Jacob? Is that all right?
JACOB: Absolutely.
NESS: So, the blue ones. You forgot to take the blue ones.
JACOB: No. The pink ones.
NESS: Oh yes! The pink ones. The pink ones, yes. I’m sorry about that. Is that all right?
JACOB: Absolutely, Ness. May I call you Ness. Is that all right?
NESS: Absolutely, Jacob. So. Right. The pink ones, eh?
JACOB: Yes.
NESS: Right. Yes. So you forgot to take them, eh?
JACOB: Yes. I’m sorry about that.
NESS: What about the blue ones?
JACOB: Blue ones?
NESS: Yes.
JACOB: I don’t take any blue ones.
NESS: Oh.
JACOB: No.
NESS: Right. No blue ones, eh?
JACOB: No. I’m sorry about that.
NESS: Oh, goodness me, there’s no need to be sorry. So, you forgot to take the pink ones?
JACOB: Yes. I’m sorry about that.
NESS: Anyway, how do you feel?
JACOB: How do I feel?
NESS: Yes.
JACOB: How do you mean?
NESS: About not taking the pink ones?
JACOB: Oh, I’m sorry about that. Is that all right?
NESS: Absolutely! But how do you feel? I mean, do you feel all right?
JACOB: Absolutely!
NESS: Oh, good! Absolutely! (Pause) Right, well in that case everything seems to be fine. So I’ll see you again in six months time. Is that all right?
I’ll see you next time.
JACOB: Absolutely! (Puts his coat on) Right, well, until next time.
NESS: Bye bye, then. Bye bye.
JACOB: Bye bye.
Jacob leaves.
NESS: (alone - to herself) I could have sworn he took blue ones. But he must know what he takes. Absolutely! (Her telephone rings - she listens) Oh, yes, send him in. Absolutely. Send him in. Is that all right?
Finis.
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